Meeting The Rookies
by RkieFan
Summary: Introduction to Officers Terry Webster, Willie Gillis and Lt. Ryker. Also, Mike is reunited with Jill. Story Follows Meeting With Destiny.


DISCLAIMER: The characters are the property of Viacom and Spelling/Goldberg Productions. No copywrite infringement is intended. I write purely for the enjoyment of fellow Rookies fans and anybody else who cares to drop by.  
  
TITLE: MEETING THE ROOKIES  
  
RATING: R for sexual content.  
  
SETTING: FIRST SEASON  
  
SUMMARY: Meeting Officers Terry Webster, Willie Gillis and Lt. Eddie Ryker. Also, Rookie Officer Mike Danko is going to be reunited with his wife, Jill.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS STORY USES DIALOGUE FROM THE PILOT WITH FILLERS OF MY OWN THROWN IN.   
  
CHAPTER ONE: HOMECOMING  
  
When Major Mike Danko returned to Ft. McClellan, Alabama, in the summer of 1972, the first place he went to after dropping his things off was the bowling alley in Anniston where his wife Jill worked as a bartender. He walked into the bar and looked around. Jill's uncle, Ray Kingston, looked up from where he was tending bar. He had been expecting Mike to walk in. Mike wasn't going to like what Ray was going to tell him. Mike walked up to the bar.  
  
"Ray, I was looking for Jill."  
  
"She ain't here."  
  
"Yeah, I can see that. Is she out at the trailer?"  
  
"Nope. I sold the trailer."  
  
"Ray, where is my wife."  
  
"Son, you messed up. Jill's gone. She's been gone since October or November of last year."  
  
"Can you tell me where she went?"  
  
"Trap told her he would help her get a job in California. He's working out there. You should have written to her once in a while, Mike."  
  
"Damn it! I've got to find her!"  
  
Mike was in the process of getting out of the Army. It took a couple of more weeks before he was able to get out. In the meantime, he had talked Jimmy into giving him Trap's phone number in L.A. As soon as he got mustered out, he flew to Los Angeles. He drove to his parent's house and decided to stay there until he could decide what he wanted to do with his life.  
  
Now that he was out of the Army, he was out of sorts with what to do. Plus, he didn't know how he was going to find Jill. His father was reading the paper. The man had never met Jill, but he didn't like her. He didn't think she was good enough for Mike, who at one time had almost married the daughter of a general. His father looked over at Mike.  
  
"Michael, have you thought about the police academy?"  
  
"Off and on. After all, I am the son of a police officer. Is there a class starting soon?"  
  
"Yeah. I was talking to a buddy of mine. They're looking for recruits for a new academy class that's going to teach a more humane method of law enforcement, more in tune with the youth of today. You're the type they're looking for."  
  
"What do you mean, the type?"  
  
"They're looking for college grads, guys out of the service, that type. The class is signing up in a couple of weeks if you're interested. I can get you the forms to fill out if you really want to do this."  
  
"Yeah, do that."  
  
"One thing, Mike. The academy is very time consuming. You won't have much time for a social life, if you get my meaning."  
  
"Pop, I have to know where Jill is."  
  
"You can always find your runaway wife after you graduate. You're going to be too busy to worry about her, anyway."  
  
CHAPTER TWO: JILL  
  
Jill, meanwhile, had enough problems of her own. She had been living on base after Mike left in the summer of 1971. One day, there were three condolence cars on their block in one day. Jill had freaked and called Trap, who had recently moved to Los Angeles. He promised her he would help her find a job and she could stay with him until she found a place of her own. Jill had no way of contacting Mike to let him know where she was going. She just packed up and left.  
  
Once she got to Los Angeles, she transferred her college credits to UCLA School Of Nursing. She loved the apartment where Trap was living. But, she knew she wasn't going to be able to stay. Trap was angry at Mike and he was pressuring Jill to file for a divorce from him. Plus, Jill was prone to panic attacks. Some of them landed her in the emergency room, scared and unable to breathe. Things got bad after one of her attacks. Trap had brought her home and Jill in a moment of weakness, had ended up sleeping with him. Trap tried to justify their having sex by telling her that Mike was probably in Vietnam doing the safe thing. Jill didn't care. Two wrongs didn't make a right. She got a job as a waitress in a bowling alley near the University and scraped together enough money to rent her own apartment in Venice. It was a dump, but it was near the ocean and Jill loved it. She had her little red VW beetle and she loved driving around Los Angeles, something she was never able to do when she lived out here with Cleve. She missed Mike terribly, but she was learning she could get along without him if she had to.   
  
She had dinner with Trap whenever she had the time, which between school and work, wasn't often enough as far as Trap was concerned. One night, he was watching her play with her food. He could tell she was thinking about Mike. She was always thinking about Mike.  
  
"How's school?"  
  
"Good."  
  
"You thought about moving on with your life?"  
  
"I can't, Trap. I love him. I'm not ready to give up on him."  
  
"Well, it's obvious he's given up on you. I know a good divorce lawyer."  
  
"Trap, stop it! I'm not divorcing Mike!"  
  
"He promised me he would never hurt you. He stood outside your trailer that night and he promised me. I can't believe he broke his promise."  
  
"I'll be all right, Trap."  
  
"Yeah, sure. Let's see how many times you land in the ER this month."  
  
"If you keep attacking Mike, I'm going to leave."  
  
"Attacking him? I haven't even started attacking him, yet! Jill, I love you. I've loved you since I was 7 years old."  
  
"I shouldn't have had sex with you that night. You caught me in a vulnerable place. I can't let it happen again. I can't let anybody get my guard down like that again."  
  
"Anybody except Mike. What is it with him, Jill? Explain it to me. Is it because he rescued you?"  
  
"He didn't rescue me. He didn't judge me when I told him about Cleve. He didn't judge me when I told him about my father. He loved me, anyway."  
  
"Jill, I know about your father. I know about Cleve and I still love you. Why does that make him better than me?"  
  
"I don't love you, Trap! Mike has my heart. He always will."  
  
"Yeah, if you ever see him again."  
  
CHAPTER 3: STARTING AT THE ACADEMY   
  
Mike got on a bus with 35 other potential recruits and they were driven to the Los Angeles Police Academy. The bus pulled into a driveway and stopped in front of a large brick building. The doors swung open and the men filed off of the bus.  
  
The man who was going to turn this group of men into top notch law enforcement officers was Sgt. Eddie Ryker. He was standing watching the men file off of the bus. Standing by his side was Neil Montgomery, the police commissioner. It had been Neil's and the mayor's idea for this new, hipper police department. Ryker, who was definitely a cop of the old school, was skeptical to say the least. Another sargeant directed the men who were getting off of the bus.  
  
"All right, men! This way!"  
  
Neil and Sgt. Ryker watched as the men filed into a gymnasium.  
  
"Things are changing, Eddie. The world isn't as simple as it used to be. We need a new kind of cop."  
  
"And this is what you think would be a new kind of cop, huh? Yeah."  
  
The men were being directed to tables inside the gym.  
  
"All right, men! Line up according to your last initial!"  
  
"All right, fellas! Make sure you have all your forms ready. Make sure you've signed in all the red checked spots."  
  
Ryker walked in with Neil. "You know, Neil, I bet when you recite the Lord's Prayer, I'll bet you say 'Give the mayor and me our daily bread.'"  
  
"Okay, Eddie, okay."  
  
"Well, you got what you wanted, didn't ya? Kids fresh out of college, specialists from the services. Yeah, you got what you wanted! You won! Great! There's your prize! Thirty-five winners! A whole class of bright young men! Well, I've never seen a smaller, shorter, weirder bunch in my life! I hope you're satisfied."  
  
"I would be a lot more satisfied if I knew you weren't out to torpedo the whole idea."  
  
"Torpedo it? I don't have to. This thing's got self-destruct written all over it."  
  
The man standing in front of the G table was William Gillis, a student from the University of Ohio who had heard Neil's speech one day on the college campus. William was 22 years old, about 6'1" with curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. He was also somewhat naïve about the ways of the world, having come from a very small town where nothing ever happened. The sargeant was looking over William's paperwork and this particular sargeant was about to give William a new name, a name that was going to stick with him despite the fact that he hated it.  
  
"William Andrew Gillis, B.A., Denison University, Granville, Ohio. Sylvania Burnham High School, Sylvania, Ohio." He handed William his paperwork. "Okay, you take this to that table behind me, Willie, and..."  
  
"It's not Willie, sir. Bill's okay, or Will, but..." He made a face. "...not Willie."  
  
"You look like a Willie to me. You mean, nobody's ever called you Willie before?"  
  
Willie shook his head as he took the folder from the sargeant.   
  
At another table, another sargeant was looking over the folder of a young man with a very large chip on his shoulder. His name was Jared Whitman. Jared was about 26 or 27, also very tall, with dark brown hair and brown eyes. He was standing there in his beard and mustache and almost shoulder length hair. The sargeant was impressed with Mr. Whitman's background, but also somewhat puzzled.  
  
"All the way through pre-med and then you drop out. Why, Mr. Whitman?"  
  
"I'm not sure that's any of your business."  
  
"Maybe not. But, it seems like an awful waste of time, that's all."  
  
"Well, it's my time to waste."  
  
"True. It's also your hair and beard to cut, as of tomorrow. Your present style isn't exactly departmental length. Your first class is 8:15 tomorrow morning and as of 8:15 tomorrow, no beard and your hair will be neatly trimmed to 1 and a half inches above your collar."  
  
"And if it isn't?"  
  
"Then, you can sleep in, Mr. Whitman."  
  
Another sargeant was talking to Kevin Lassitur. Kevin was about 30 years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Like most of the other men in the room, he was over 6 feet tall. He was also one of the few married men in the room.  
  
"Kevin Lassitur, Granelle College, Omaha, Nebraska. VISTA, one year. All right, Mr. Lassitur, you take this to that table right over there."  
  
When Kevin turned around to do as he was instructed, he was collided head on with William Gillis, who was intently studying him. Kevin looked at William strangely.  
  
"I'm sorry. I was just trying to see if you were married. I'm trying to find a roommate."  
  
Kevin held up his left hand. A wedding ring glittered on his finger. "Oh, wow! Did you pick the wrong man." He held out his hand for William to shake. "My name's Lassitur, Kevin Lassitur."  
  
William returned the hand shake. "William Gillis. Pleased to meet you."  
  
"Pleased to meet you, Willie."  
  
William just gave Kevin a look as he walked off in search of a roommate. He didn't understand what it was with this Willie business. Usually, when he told people that he didn't care to be called Willie, they would call him Bill. He hated Willie. It made him feel 5 years old.  
  
Meanwhile, Sgt. Ryker spotted Mike and pointed him out to Neil. Neil nodded. Somehow, he knew Ryker would spot Mike immediately. There was something about Mike's demeanor that set him apart from the other recruits in the gym. For one thing, Mike was dressed in a suit and tie, unlike the others, who were dressed far more casually.  
  
"Well, now, he looks like he might be my kind of guy."  
  
"I was afraid you were going to say that."  
  
"Why? Because he looks normal and because I said he looks like he could be my kind of a guy, you're suspicious of him already?"  
  
"No, not because of that."  
  
"Well then, why?"  
  
"His name's Mike Danko. I've known his old man for a long time. He works out of Parker Center. Mike left the Army to join this program. He had 10 years in, making a lot more money there than he's going to make here. And, I just can't figure out why he joined this program."  
  
There was a group of men looking at a bulletin board showing available housing. Willie made his way over to the board.  
  
"Gentlemen, please refer to the board showing all available residences in the area. I'm sure you'll find adequate housing for your needs."  
  
Willie was looking at the board when he noticed a tall black man dressed in slacks and sports coat examining the board. Willie decided to try his luck in finding a roommate with this man.  
  
"Hey." As the man turned around to look at him. "Uh, hi. Excuse me. Are you married?"  
  
Terry Webster was 25 years old and a product of the gang infested Watts area of Los Angeles. He figured becoming a police officer was better than ending up in prison or dead, like many of his childhood friends. His father was a fireman who had hoped his son would follow in his footsteps. Terry wanted no part of the fire department. He looked at the young man standing beside him in amusement.  
  
"No, but I think I ought to warn you. I'll expect a very long courtship before we talk about it again."  
  
"No, you see, what I had in mind is, would you be interested in rooming together and furthuring the cause of racial harmony?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, would you be interested in rooming together and saving a few bucks?"  
  
Terry put his arm around Willie's shoulder. "Ah, little fella, I think you and me have just found a common ground."  
  
"Okay." He looked at the board and pointed to a possibility. "Let's see, how about this one? Ninety-five a month, furnished."  
  
"Sounds good."  
  
Willie took the index card off of the board. "Okay, we'd better hustle. They had five apartments and four of them have been take already. At least we can count on having a cop nearby if we need one."  
  
Kevin walked around and invited all of the guys to a get together at his and his wife's apartment the next evening. Mike, Willie, Terry and Jared accepted the invitation.  
  
The next night, the guys showed up at the Lassitur's new apartment. Willie and Jared were helping Kevin hang things on the walls, while Mike and Terry had gone to get pizza for the hungry group.  
  
Jared was supposed to be helping Kevin and Willie hang a Laurel and Hardy print on their living room wall, but instead, he was fascinated with his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't get used to his new, shorter haircut and clean shaven face. Kevin was struggling with the picture and getting irritated with Jared.  
  
"Oh, wow! Really, really wow!"  
  
"Hey, Jared! Is this straight?"  
  
Willie was also trying to get Jared's attention. "Come on, man! Is it straight or not?"  
  
"Everything around here is straight! Square and straight! Hang it!"  
  
Kevin put the picture on the wall and stood back to look at it. "Oh, come on! It's a furnished apartment. Give it some time, huh!"  
  
Kevin's wife, Molly, a short brunette, came out with a plate of snacks, followed by Jared's wife, Birgitta. Birgitta was a native of Sweden. She had waist length dark brown hair and large dark eyes. She also had a charming accent. Jared never tired of looking at her or listening to her.  
  
Molly set the plate on a table. "Here, this ought to hold you until the pizza comes."  
  
Willie clasped his hands together. "Ah, food! Beautiful!"  
  
"Come on, Jared and take a rest."  
  
"Hey, babe, are you sure we can afford this on a rookie's salary?"  
  
Birgitta walked over to where Jared was still looking at himself in the mirror. He looked at her watching him with a smile on her face.  
  
"All right, I mean I know I look like a trombone player for Lawrence Welk, but..." He reached for her. ..."what are you laughing at?"  
  
"It's just hard to get used to."  
  
Jared nuzzled her neck as he held her. "It's just hard to get used to, huh?"  
  
Kevin jumped up when he heard a tap on the door. "They're here! The food!"  
  
Kevin grabbed a small horn out of his pocket and played a few notes as he answered the door. Terry and Mike came walking in with pizza boxes.  
  
"Where were you guys, huh? We were going to call the cops."  
  
Terry looked at Mike. "We would have been here a lot sooner, but the old boy had to take a rest downstairs."  
  
"Bless you, bless you for your kindness, youngster."  
  
Willie said, "When you cut that pizza, make sure it is neatly trimmed an inch and a half above the collar."  
  
Everybody laughed as Kevin cut the pizza.  
  
CHAPTER FOUR: GOING BACK TO JILL  
  
Trap was at home one day in mid October when his phone rang. He absent mindedly picked it up.  
  
"Hello? Hello?"  
  
He could hear the ragged breathing on the other end, which meant one of two things, either he had received a phone call from a heavy breather or Jill was having a panic attack.  
  
"Jill, are you okay?"  
  
"I...Trap...I can't...I can't breathe."  
  
"Jill, call an ambulance. I'll meet you at the hospital."  
  
Trap looked around the emergency room when he got there, frantically searching for Jill. One of the nurses who knew Trap from a previous visit directed him to where Jill was being treated. When he walked into the cubicle, Jill's breathing had already returned to normal. The doctor motioned Trap out into the hall.  
  
"Are you Trap?"  
  
"Yes, sir. Is she okay?"  
  
"She will be, as soon as she learns to relax. I see she's been in here a few times in the last couple of months. Do you have any idea what triggers her attacks?"  
  
"I don't know what triggered this one. Her husband is in the Army."  
  
"Vietnam?"  
  
"Is there anywhere else?"  
  
"I would get word to him if I were you."  
  
"That would be great if we knew where he was."  
  
"POW?"  
  
"No, it's complicated. Look, can I take Jill home?"  
  
"Yeah, I've given her a prescription for Valium. It might help ease some of the anxiety she's feeling. I also recommended she talk to someone. I saw the scars on her wrist, Mr. Applegate. Does she have a regular therapist?"  
  
"No, not any more. Look, Jill doesn't need therapy. She just needs for her husband to let her know he's alive."  
  
Jill was quiet on the drive back to Venice. Trap walked into the apartment with her.  
  
"What set you off this time, Jill? The news again?"  
  
"I miss him, Trap. I miss him so bad! I thought he loved me. I just want him to come back and tell me he's sorry."  
  
"Like sorry is going to work."  
  
"Sorry is all I want to hear. Trap, I'm sorry if you don't understand. You don't know what it's like to love like that. I would die for him."  
  
"Yeah, if you keep this up, you might be doing exactly that. I have to go. Are you going to be okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll be fine."  
  
CHAPTER FIVE: FACING THE ACADEMY AND SGT. RYKER  
  
A few days later, the cadets were on the firing range shooting at targets with their service revolvers. Ryker was walking up and down the line, checking the new recruits out. He corrected some on their stance.  
  
"Watch that blinking."  
  
Another sargeant was standing directly behind the cadets. He was in charge of the firing range.  
  
"Unload! Now you see why this is the policeman's basic weapon! Ten-hut! Are there any questions?" Jared raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Whitman?" Jared turned to address the sargeant. "Eyes front!"  
  
"Yes, sir. I don't understand. I mean, why do we have to use a gun at all? Why can't we use something like tranquilizer darts or gas or rubber bullets? And, why is the gun the only thing that we use?"  
  
"Tranquilizers have not been perfected yet, gas is indiscriminate and rubber bullets have only shown results in crowd control. That's why the gun."  
  
"Thank you, sir! In England, guns are outlawed and they use billy clubs!"  
  
"We're not in England, Mr. Whitman."  
  
"Thank you, sir. Then, why is it this gun? Why is this gun so special? In the service, they use .45's, don't they? Why?"  
  
"You want to answer that, Danko, or should I?"  
  
Mike stood at attention. "Yes, sir! You shoot a guy with a .45 and you hit him in the hand, chances are you're going to take his whole arm off! The same wound with a .38, he'll have a hole in his hand, but he'll have his hand, sir!"  
  
"It's a more humane weapon, Mr. Whitman."  
  
"Thank you, sir."  
  
"Are there any more questions?" As Jared tentatively raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. Whitman?"  
  
"That target we're shooting at, sir. Why is it the silhouette of a man? Why don't we shoot at something like a bulls-eye?"  
  
"Because a bulls-eye has never been convicted of robbing a gas station, son. Right face!" The men all turned. "Forward march!"  
  
In his spare time, Mike was trying to figure out how he could go about contacting Jill. His address book was still packed and he hadn't had time to look for it. He knew Trap's number was there. He had gotten it from Jimmy. He wasn't sure what he was going to tell her once he did find her. He didn't know how he was going to explain this. He knew he missed her terribly. He didn't understand why she had left like she had. Something must have spooked her.  
  
A few weeks later, the guys were in the gym at the academy for crowd control training. The cadets were standing in a straight line on one side and officers were standing on the other. When Ryker blew his whistle, the officers were to start taunting the new rookies. This went on for several minutes until an older black sergeant put a stop to it and began walking down the middle of the two lines of men. He stopped directly in front of Terry.  
  
"Now, you don't want to admit it to me, baby, but you'd better admit it to yourself. The only reason that you joined up is you're not certain whether or not you're a real man. Maybe you got something going back in the closet you don't want anybody to know about. Right? So, you want to wear a gun, carry a club, real rough training. That's what you're really looking for. Ain't that it now? Well, just hold it. Now, whatever you boys decide to do about your hang-ups, that's your own thing. But, now, me and the brother here, we don't have no problems like that. It's only white folks get themselves in things like that. Ain't that right, brother?"  
  
Terry remained unresponsive, so the sergeant tried harder to get a response out of him.  
  
"I'm talking to you, nigger! What's the matter, honey child? White folks got your tongue?"  
  
"Well, you just keep pushing it, man. You know?"  
  
"Sgt. Ryker rolled his eyes. "Oh, beautiful, Webster. That's just beautiful! Your instructions were not to respond to any assault, verbal or otherwise! Did you hear those instructions?"  
  
"Yes, sir!"  
  
"You jive, cop out artist! Now you're playing the man's game! No self-respecting black man would want to be a cop-pig! There's not one good reason for a black man to wear this uniform!"  
  
"You're wrong, sir! There are a lot of reasons!"  
  
Now Ryker was furious. "Name one, Webster! Just one! Name it!"  
  
"To stop you white cops from leaning on my brothers! Yes, sir, shore is one good reason, sir!"  
  
Ryker walked between the line of men. "Eyes front! Get those batons up! Straighten them out!" Muttering under his breath. "I may make mayor, yet. Come on, get 'em up there! Get 'em up!"  
  
Later that afternoon, Ryker was conducting a lecture in the classroom. Willie was deep in conversation with Terry, which he was soon to discover, was not a good idea.  
  
"A policeman doesn't only have 1 job, he has 9." Ryker began walking down the aisle. "Midwife, family counselor, sharp shooter, race car driver, lawyer...Mr. Gillis, would you mind sharing your conversation with us? I'm sure it's much more interesting than mine."  
  
Willie stood up. "Well, sir, I uh...I was just wondering how come our uniforms aren't blue."  
  
"Oh, you were? The uniforms of a rookie are tan, the mouth of a rookie is shut!"  
  
Willie sat back down. "Yes, sir."  
  
Ryker walked back to his podium. "You will have seconds, correction, split seconds..."  
  
Willie leaned over to whisper to Terry. "I don't advise you dating HIS sister."  
  
"...They're all tough. And, if you are wrong, remember the police officer is as liable to prosecution as any ordinary citizen. Now, the Miranda decision..."  
  
Kevin raised his hand. "Lassitur, sir!"  
  
"Yes, Lassitur? What is it?"  
  
Kevin stood up. "I know you mean well, but we didn't get into this to listen to war stories. I know we have a lot of tough decisions to make as policemen, but truthfully, aren't most of them done by the book?"  
  
"All right, let's take a 'by the book' situation. Hypothetical, but by the book. You are summoned to the scene of an accident. A party is injured, a second unit handles traffic control. What is your first move?"  
  
"Call an ambulance."  
  
"The man has a compound fracture, arterial bleeding. He's unconscious. What's your next move?"  
  
"Guard against shock, immobilize the fracture, put a pressure bandage on the arterial wound, alert the hospital that the man will need a transfusion."  
  
"Very good. Fine. Your first aid works, the man come to and he tells you that he is a Christian Scientist. Now, what is Patrolman Lassitur's next move? What are the rights of the injured party and what are the rights of Patrolman Lassitur and what is Patrolman Lassitur's answer?"  
  
Kevin sat down as he saw the point Ryker was trying to make. Ryker continued with his lecture. "The Miranda Decision, admonition of rights. The suspect shall be informed, one..."  
  
Several days later, the guys were running around an oval track. One of the requirements to passing the course was running a mile in seven minutes or less. Terry had a lot of trouble with this requirement. Ryker was standing in the middle of the track with his stop watch watching as the men were running.  
  
"Come on! Move it, move it! Come on, pick those feet up! Lean into it! Get those knees up! Lift your feet up, you clods! Come on! Webster! Webster, come on, move it!"  
  
Terry finally joined the others and collapsed in exhaustion on the grass.  
  
"Webster, come here!" As Terry walked over. "Now, we run this mile 3 times every week, Webster. If you don't get your time under seven minutes, you're going to be out. Do you understand? Out?"  
  
Terry was still trying to catch his breath. "Yes, sir."  
  
Ryker softened a bit. "It's a dumb requirement, but it is a requirement, so you'd better keep hacking at it."  
  
"Yes, sir. Thanks."  
  
"All right, fall in! Once around the track and back to the showers!"  
  
Jared slapped Terry on the back as he joined them. "Hang loose, man. You're going to make it."  
  
"Oh, man, I could do it if I wanted to. I just don't want to be a racial stereotype."  
  
Jared laughed as they began running around the track.  
  
CHAPTER SIX: EARLY SPRING OF 1973 (JILL)  
  
It was a windy early March day. Jill was sitting on the beach near the apartment. She was thinking that her and Mike had been married almost 2 years. Wondering where he was at was making her crazy. She hadn't had any more panic attacks since the one in October. She hadn't seen Trap in several weeks, but they talked on the phone almost every night. He tried not to say anything about Mike. Jill was almost done with school and she had a job lined up. She just wondered where her husband was. She knew Mike would be proud of how well she was doing, juggling work and school.  
  
CHAPTER SEVEN: MIKE TELLS TERRY ABOUT JILL  
  
Mike was hanging out at Terry and Willie's apartment. He was with them a lot of they were at his apartment. They studied together or played basketball. On this night, Terry was soaking his feet in a basin of water while Willie was getting the trash ready to go out.  
  
"Hey, how come you're always soaking your feet on the nights that the trash has to be put out?"  
  
"Just trying to build your character, little fella. Just trying to build your character."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No, it's okay."  
  
"I appreciate it!"  
  
"No, it's okay!"  
  
Mike laughed as Willie walked out the door. "Well, you've got your time down to seven minutes and fourteen seconds. That's your best, yet."  
  
"It's still not good enough. If I don't get it down to seven minutes by tomorrow afternoon, Ryker will boot me. He's got no choice."  
  
"Still wish you had become a fireman like your old man?"  
  
"No. I'm not looking to be like anyone. Don't get me wrong, what my old man did was fine, for him. But I could never see much more than the fires in his job and I've got a lot more to find than that."  
  
"You know, sometimes you and I talk the same language and sometimes...I mean, what's to find in this job?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know, really. Law, if a guy wants to go to school at night. Community relations, if a guy thinks he can cut it. Politics, maybe?"  
  
"Senator Webster?"  
  
"Why did you stop at Senator?"  
  
Mike laughed. "I don't know. I guess because I'm not sure if a cop can be elected president."  
  
"Oh, all I know is, all my life people have been looking at me and deciding who I was or what I was or what I could be. I'm gonna find out for myself. How about you? How do you like it so far?"  
  
"Oh, me? I like it fine, I guess. I like living off base. I like the work. Besides, my wife lives here in town and it'll give me the chance to get to see her and know her again."  
  
Terry looked at Mike, surprised. "Your wife? I didn't know you were married."  
  
Mike smiled at him sadly. "That was the problem. Neither did we."  
  
Willie walked back in. "You want a sandwich or something?"  
  
"Oh no, man. I don't think so. I think I'll go upstairs and get some sack time. I'll see you guys in the morning."  
  
"See ya! Hey, Terry? I've been wondering. Can I ask you a favor?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, uh, this might sound kind of dumb, but well, you know, the town I come from is kind of a little place, well, if I'm going to be a cop in a big city, I've gotta learn...do you think that maybe you could take me down to the ghetto sometime?"  
  
"No. And, it doesn't sound dumb, man, it just sounds wrong. Wrong, because you never asked me to guide you to a poor white neighborhood, just a poor black one. Wrong, because you never learn to swim holding onto a life preserver. And, my name is Terry, not Tom."  
  
"Well, if I go down there alone, can I at least mention your name?"  
  
Terry looked at him and smiled and they both started laughing.  
  
Meanwhile, Mike had gone upstairs. He searched until he finally found his address book. He decided it was time to look up his lady Jill. Especially since he had told Terry about her. If the police department was anything like the Army, soon everybody would know. He found Trap's phone number and dialed. The phone was answered on the third ring.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Trap, this is Michael Danko."  
  
"What the hell do you want?"  
  
"Trap, I need to find Jill. I was wondering if you knew where she is."  
  
"You're the one married to her and you're asking me to find her. That is so rich, Mike. Are you here in town?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Mike, where have you been for the past year and a half? Jill has been worried sick. She has anxiety attacks every time she watches the news. I've had to rush her to the emergency room because of them! How long have you been in town?"  
  
Mike didn't like where this conversation was going. "Are you going to tell me where my wife is or not?"  
  
"Mike, I'm not real sure Jill wants to see you."  
  
"Jill doesn't want to see me or you don't want her to see me? I've messed up, I admit it, but I'm not going to get into word games with you. I know you care about her or you wouldn't have brought her out here with you..."  
  
"I only have one word to say to you, Mike. Letters! Did you somehow lose the ability to write while you were in the jungle? All Jill ever wanted was to know that you were alive."  
  
"Like I said, I'm not going to get into this with you. This is between Jill and I. I graduate from the police academy in the next few weeks and I would like for Jill and I to get our lives back on track."  
  
Trap almost dropped the phone. "You're becoming a cop! Jill is going to love that news! Vietnam wasn't enough for you, Mike? Now you have to come home and get shot at, as well!"  
  
"Look, I will talk to Jill, okay? I don't want here hearing about this from you."  
  
"Be my guest. News like that should only come from the horses' mouth. Jill is working from three to eleven at The University Bowl. It's near UCLA. I think she's off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. She goes to school in the mornings 3 days a week."  
  
"Do I get a phone number or do I have to bribe you?"  
  
"No way. I've given you as much as I'm going to give you. If you want to see her, go to the bowling alley."  
  
"What is Jill going to school for? Is she getting a degree?"  
  
"Let me put it this way, Mike. Things have changed. Jill's not the same stupid little hick you married."  
  
"Trap, I never said Jill was stupid!"  
  
"She's going to school to better herself. I thought that's what you wanted. Didn't you tell her so before you flew off into the big blue yonder? After all, you are the college graduate."  
  
"Trap, I never told Jill that I was ashamed of her."  
  
"No, you just went ten thousand miles away and never bothered to so much as write her a friggin' post card! I have to go. You've wasted enough of my time."  
  
With that, Trap hung up the phone. Mike never expected him to jump for joy, but he at least expected to find out where Jill was. Mike picked up their wedding picture and looked at it.  
  
"I love you, Jill. You have to believe that."  
  
Right after Trap got off the phone after talking to Mike, he called Jill. She was studying for an exam when the phone rang. She knew it was Trap. It was always Trap.  
  
"Hello, Trap."  
  
"Hey, what is the deal with your ex-husband?"  
  
"What are you talking about? I haven't divorced him, yet."  
  
Jill almost dropped the phone when she realized what Trap was talking about. He had to have had some kind of contact with Mike.  
  
"Oh, my God. Trap, have you seen Mike?"  
  
"No, worse. He just called me. You'd better brace yourself. He's probably going to show up at the bowling alley."  
  
"Why there?"  
  
"Because I wouldn't give him a home address or your telephone number. I didn't think you would kill him if he showed up in person."  
  
"Trap, why wouldn't you give him my phone number? I need to talk to him!"  
  
"God, Jill! Don't tell me you're going to drop everything and go running back to him!"  
  
"Trap, he's my husband! I love him! I'll always love him! Did he at least say where he's been?"  
  
"No and I didn't ask. I take it you're going to see him if he shows up?"  
  
"Oh, there's no doubt that he'll show up. It's just a question of when. Trap, I have to know why. Why he didn't send me any word on where he was."  
  
"Jill, are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm okay. At least we know he's alive, right?"  
  
"Yeah, right. Bye, Jill."  
  
Jill hung up and looked at the picture she kept on her end table. Taken on their wedding day 2 years before, she could still look at that picture and remember all of the reasons why she had married Mike. He was such a sweet person and the first real gentleman she had ever met in her life. She wanted to see him, but she was feeling very ambivalent about it. What she really wanted to know was why there had been no word. He had told her on a zillion different occasions how much he loved her, how he couldn't live without her. So, where had he been? Jill had come to California with Trap because she feared staying in Alabama alone, with no one to take care of her and with the possibility of Cleve coming back. She didn't love Trap, but she at least knew he would look after her, like Mike had once said he would. Now, Jill wasn't so sure. She remembered one of the last conversations they had had before he left to go to Vietnam. They had gone to the funeral of the young lieutenant who lived next door to them. He was also a helicopter pilot and had been shot down by the Viet Cong. Jill was almost hysterical...  
  
Three days after the funeral, Mike got his orders to go to Vietnam. He had been basically waiting for the other shoe to drop for some time. He didn't think he would spend two years in one place. He also never figured he would fall in love and get married. He figured Ft. McClellan was just another stop in the road on his way to furthuring his military career. Now, here it was two years later and he was married and about to head back to Vietnam.  
  
Jill, who was still shook up about the funeral they had attended, did not take the news well, at all. She had a nightmare that night. She woke Mike up in the middle of the night, curled up in a ball in a corner of their bedroom, screaming and crying. Mike tried holding her, but she wouldn't be comforted.  
  
"Baby, you knew this day was going to come."  
  
"Mike, what if Cleve comes back? What am I going to do?"  
  
"Baby, Cleve is not going to come back. Look, I'm going to be gone for 13 and a half months. Why don't you go back out to the farm and stay with your grandfather until I get back?"  
  
"Mike, I'm scared. I see those blue cars, you know the ones I'm talking about and I dream that they stop here. I try to close the door on them but they just kick the door in and tell me 'We regret to inform you that your husband is dead.' I don't want to lose you, Mike. I love you so much."  
  
"You're not going to lose me. When I go to Vietnam, I'm going to carry your love for me in my heart..."  
  
Jill hoped that was true, because he was in her heart every day, even though she was sometimes so angry at him that she could scream.  
  
The morning after Mike called Trap, Sgt. Ryker was standing at the front of the class lecturing to a classroom of half asleep rookies.  
  
"...The Gideon Decision, while not affecting the day to day duties of a police officer did signal a trend in the court's decisions, a trend toward more vigorous efforts at protecting the rights of the accused."  
  
Suddenly, a man walked in the door and opened fire, hitting Ryker, who fell to the floor. Several of the rookies jumped up to come to his aid. Ryker jumped to his feet and waved them back to their seats.  
  
"Get back, get back! Get in there! You've just witnessed a murder! You have 30 seconds to provide me an accurate description of the witness, starting now! Come on! Tall, short, light, dark, glasses, no glasses, revolver, automatic, one shot, two shots, three shots! Come on, get moving! Light hair, dark hair, hat, no hat! What did he look like? What kind of shoes was he wearing? Color of his pants, color of his coat. Was it a long coat? Jacket? Fifteen seconds."  
  
Kevin Lassitur was telling his wife Molly about it that night while she cleared the dishes after dinner.  
  
"Thirty-five guys in that class and not one of us saw the same thing."  
  
"Was anybody even close?"  
  
"Ah, Mrs. Lassitur, you'll be pleased to know that your husband's description proved to be the most accurate."  
  
Molly walked over and kissed him. "Congratulations."  
  
Kevin pulled her back over to him as she walked back toward the sink. "Um, you think you could be a little more physical about it?"  
  
"You're really turned on by this, aren't you?"  
  
"Um hmm."  
  
"No, I mean by the police academy. By the whole program."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I really am. You know, Mol, it's exciting. I don't mean boy scout exciting. But, if there can be a new kind of law man, well then, all of this really counts for something."  
  
The next day was the last day before graduation. Terry's final chance to run the mile in under 7 minutes. Neil Montgomery had come out to see if he could pass. Graduation was a day away and Neil really wanted this program to succeed. Terry was the last man on the track and time was running out. The guys were all yelling encouragement.  
  
"Come on, man! You've gotta make it! Push! Push! Terry, come on, Terry! Move it! Come on, Terry! Come on! Come on, dig in!"  
  
Ryker looked at his stop watch. "You have 45 seconds to make this lap, Webster! Now, move it!"  
  
Jared started yelling. "Move! Move!"  
  
Mike looked at Jared in panic. "He's not gonna make it!"  
  
"Pace him! Come on, pace him!"  
  
Mike ran up to Terry first, forcing him to keep up with him. Ryker couldn't believe it as one by one, the different rookies began pacing Terry so he would finish the course.  
  
"Left! Left! Come on, man! Push it out! Come on, man! Come on! Come on!"  
  
Ryker looked at Neil. "He's pacing him. That's not fair."  
  
"Why isn't it fair?"  
  
"Come on, push! Come on!"  
  
Jared ran up and replaced Mike. "You can make it, man! Go on, I've got him! Come on, one step! Left! Left! Left, pull! One! One! Come on, Terry, pick it up! Come on, pick it up!"  
  
Kevin replaced Jared. "Pick it up! Come on! Come on, my man, you can do it!"  
  
The other guys ran along Terry as he headed toward the home stretch. Neil was smiling at what he saw, the camaraderie between the men. When Ryker clicked stop on his stop watch, Terry was actually about 4 tenths of a second over 7 minutes. The guys all stopped in the middle of the track, watching Ryker, as did Neil.  
  
"Did he make it?"  
  
"All right, Webster! You made it!"  
  
The guys cheered as they lifted Terry to their shoulders and carried him around the track.  
  
Terry came over to Mike's apartment that night. Mike was in the middle of his living room floor putting a stereo rack together. Terry leafed through Mike's record collection.  
  
"Beatles, Van Morrison, The Turtles. Man, you've got some pretty diverse stuff here."  
  
"The Beatles and Van Morrison are Jill's, The Turtles are ours."  
  
"I take it Jill is your wife."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Speaking of the mysterious Jill, have you talked to her, yet?"  
  
"No. I've driven by the place where she works a couple of times, but I get cold feet when it comes down to actually going in and talking to her."  
  
"This wasn't one of those arranged marriages, was it? I mean, you two did speak before the ceremony?"  
  
"Of course. In fact, once Jill gets started, sometimes you can't shut her up."  
  
"Then, I guess she must be some piece of work if you're afraid of her."  
  
"Oh, I'm not afraid of her. I just think I messed up."  
  
"Ten-four on that one. So, is that why you're doing the carpentry?"  
  
"Jill has to have her music. Some couples would fight over the kids when they split up. Since Jill and I have no kids, we would fight over the record collection."  
  
"Mike, just go see her. Take Willie or me for moral support if you have to, but just go, because the longer you put it off, the harder it's going to be to pick up the pieces."  
  
Neil gave a speech at their graduation. The men all sat in the front row in their new blue uniforms, looking scared, but very proud.  
  
"...So that by your example, young men will look upon law enforcement as a challenge. A challenge that will grow as society grows. And, a challenge to make that growth and that change a healthy one for all concerned. Because we are all concerned. We have to be. Officers." The new rookies rose to their feet. "Good luck to all of you."  
  
The men, their wives, girlfriends and families all filed out after the ceremony. They were trying to decide how best to celebrate.  
  
Jared and Birgitta Whitman had just walked out when a heavy set man in his mid to late forties approached them. They didn't know they were about to be plunged into a nightmare.  
  
"Congratulations, Mr. And Mrs. Whitman. This must be a very happy day for you both."  
  
"Thank you very much." Jared said quietly.  
  
"Oh, my name is Loomis, Toby Loomis. I'm what you would call a cop buff. I come to all of these graduations. I try to lend a little moral support. Not much of that around nowadays. I'm a civil servant, too, so I know how it is."  
  
Jared was getting more than a little irritated. "Oh, I see."  
  
"Look, I don't want to keep you. I suppose you're going out to celebrate and well you should. So, Birgitta, you take good care of that young man of yours. He's one of our men in blue now, you know."  
  
"Yes, I'll do my best."  
  
"Well, I'll see you later."  
  
Jared put his hand possessively around Birgitta's waist as Loomis walked off. "Bye, now. Well now, I know it takes all kinds, but there ought to be some kind of a limit."  
  
"Have you ever met him before?"  
  
"Him? Are you kidding?"  
  
"How did he know my first name?"  
  
Jared was puzzling that question over in his mind when the other guys walked over.  
  
"Okay, where are we going?" Terry asked first.  
  
"Hey, where do brand new pigs go to celebrate?" Willie joked as the others laughed.  
  
"You wanna go to the Big Apple?" Mike threw in.  
  
Kevin chimed in. "Joe's! Joe's!"  
  
"How about pizza?" Terry looked at the others as they nodded.  
  
Jared liked Terry's suggestion. "Pizza's good."  
  
Birgitta shook her head as she hugged Jared tighter. "Why don't we all go to our place?"  
  
"Yeah, why don't we all go to your place?" Terry looked at Jared, who did not think that was a great idea, but the others loved it.  
  
They all chimed their agreement at Birgitta's suggestion.  
  
"Great! We'll see your there!" Willie told the Whitman's.  
  
Jared gave Birgitta a look of slight irritation as the other guys walked off, but it was hard to be angry with her when she looked at him with those huge eyes. He smiled as he gently shook his head.  
  
"To our place."  
  
CHAPTER 8: OFFICER SHAW'S RETIREMENT PARTY  
  
The next morning, the new rookies gathered in Roll Call, otherwise known as The Muster Room for the very first time. This was where they were about to find out how dull police work could be at times.  
  
Ryker was standing at the front conducting the morning's business. The guys were all talking among themselves.  
  
"All right, boys. Quiet down, quiet down. Ten-hut! All right, you new boys will go on duty for the first time today. Now, let's not get all antsy. For the first couple of days, we'll be showing you the precinct and that's about all. Now, I know you all want to go out and catch your first bank robber, but we'd rather you know how to write a parking ticket before you get all that heroic. Webster, Lassitur and uh, Whitman, you'll be going on duty with Officer Shaw. Now, Officer Shaw knows the area better than anybody, so if you keep your mouths shut and your ears open, you might learn a lot. The rest of you go on standard patrol, standard sweeps. Oh, yeah. One more thing for you rookies. Officer Shaw is retiring at the end of this week. And, let's see. Whitman is on duty, but the rest of you will be off. Well now, you may not know Officer Shaw as well as the rest of us do, but nonetheless, you're all invited to his retirement party at the rec hall at the academy. Eight o'clock Friday night. We'll be very disappointed if you're not there. VERY disappointed. Admission is twenty bucks a couple. Dismissed!"  
  
Terry leaned over toward Jared. "Now I know what RSVP stands for."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Rookies Shafted Very Promptly."  
  
Jared laughed and nodded in agreement as they walked out the door. The three rookies joined Officer Shaw, a balding, portly man in his fifties in a walk around the precinct. Officer Shaw was a very cynical man, something hard to swallow for the three idealistic young rookies. They stopped in front a liquor store.  
  
"This liquor store gets knocked off a couple of times a year. The owner got himself a gun and is going to blow his own foot off someday. This cocktail lounge? Bad news place. They got those waitresses wearing next to nothing. Somebody gets ideas, gets grabby, somebody else decides to play cowboy to the rescue. The roof comes off the place regular every Saturday night regular as clockwork. Come on, let's take a ride."  
  
They got into Shaw's squad car and he started driving around the area. He stopped across from a ramshackle house. They got out of the car and were looking at the house.  
  
"Some kind of a student outfit in that house over there. Don't know quite what they're up to."  
  
"Well, is that any of our business?" Jared asked him.  
  
"Only when they start throwing bombs."  
  
"You mean, if they start throwing bombs." Jared said.  
  
"When, if, same difference. I know, maybe you think I'm getting a little twitchy, seeing boogey men around every corner. But, let me tell you something. For a cop there may just be a boogey man around the corner. You'll be thinking like I do before too very long."  
  
Jared made a face. "Not on your life."  
  
"No, on yours."  
  
Terry spoke up. "Are you really going to tell us that it's a jungle out there?"  
  
"Combination. Quicksand and cesspool."  
  
Jared looked at Terry across the car as Kevin and Shaw got back in the front seat.  
  
"I bet he wears that uniform to bed."  
  
Terry made a suggestion face. "After he's advised his wife of her rights."  
  
Jared laughed and again agreed with Terry as he got in the back seat of the squad car. That night, he was telling Birgitta about his day. He was disillusioned and angry. Birgitta was sitting on the sofa as he stood across the room from her, venting his anger.  
  
"Shaw, he's just like all those teachers at pre-med! All they ever see is the disease! They never see the patient who's being hurt! It's the system! It's hopeless! There's nothing you can do about it!"  
  
"You take too much on yourself, Jared. You let it eat at you."  
  
"I just want some things in this world to have some kind of rhyme or reason, that's all! It just never does. God, you know what I heard when I was coming off duty? I heard that there's some guy on a highway with a high powered rifle and he's shooting at cars. He killed two people. Now, can you imagine that? God, that has to be insane!"  
  
"Don't think about it."  
  
"Honey, how can you not think about something like that? There is a madman loose with a rifle! You can't ignore something like that! You have to do something about it!"  
  
He stopped when he saw the look on her face. She was looking at him like she was the proudest person on the face of this earth. He walked over to the sofa and pulled her into his arms. He loved her so much. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  
  
At the Lassitur apartment, Kevin came to the bedroom and carefully locked his service revolver in the night stand drawer. Then he sat on his side of the bed beside Molly, who wanted to know everything about his first day on duty. Like Jared, he was disappointed.  
  
"How was your first day?"  
  
"Where did I go? Out. What did I do? Nothing. What did I learn? More than I wanted to know."  
  
"What does that mean?"  
  
"It was the kids, Mol. The way they looked at us. And, I don't mean just the blacks or the poor kids or the Chicanos. I mean, every single kid we saw looked at us, I don't know, dislike, distrust. You remember how it was the first day we got in the village in Puerto Rico? The way they looked at us then? It was the same thing. That same sense of being an outsider. That distance."  
  
"By the time you left, those kids thought you were the Pied Piper."  
  
"Well, I don't know if that's true or not, but I'm too tired to fight about it."  
  
Molly reached up and pulled him down to her. "I wasn't thinking about fighting."  
  
Mike decided if he had to go to this retirement party, he had better track Jill down. He had driven by the bowling alley what seemed like a hundred times, but like he had told Terry, he couldn't get the nerve up to go in and see her. He was with Willie one day when he decided he had better do this and get it over with. He couldn't believe he was so nervous about asking his own wife for a date. Him and Willie walked into the bowling alley. Mike gave Willie some money.  
  
"Order me a hamburger and a cup of coffee and I'll be right in."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Ever since Trap had called Jill and told her he had spoken to Mike, Jill had been looking for him. So far, she hadn't seen him, so she figured maybe he had given up and decided she wasn't worth the trouble, after all. She didn't know she was in for one hell of a shock.  
  
Mike had to look around the place before he finally spotted her. He only saw her from behind, but he would recognize her anywhere. She was talking to a group of people when he saw her. His heart jumped in his throat at the sight of her. He couldn't believe after all this time the sight of her could still have that effect on him. The first thing he noticed was she had cut her hair. It had been waist length when they were together, now it was just past her shoulder blades. She also looked like she hadn't eaten in months. Mike took a deep breath as he walked up to her. Jill spun around as she felt someone tap her on her shoulder. At first, she didn't recognize Mike in the blue police uniform. Then, she thought it was some kind of a joke. She thought when Trap had told her that Mike was in town, that maybe he was stationed at Ft. Ord. She wondered if Trap knew about this.  
  
"Jill, hi. Remember me?"  
  
"Mike."  
  
"I'm...I'm a cop now."  
  
"Yeah, so I see. Trap gave me a heads up weeks ago to look for you. What is this? I mean, we've been separated for over a year, you haven't written..."  
  
"You know I never write letters, Jill."  
  
"Mike, you can't just pop in here and expect...what DO you expect, Mike?"  
  
"I don't know, really. I just wanted to let you know I'm out of the service."  
  
"You're out of the ARMY, you mean."  
  
"You always said that was our biggest problem, right?"  
  
"Mike, you should have called me. WARNED me."  
  
"Why? You would've said to stay away. Wouldn't ya?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"It would have been a lie, wouldn't it? Did Trap tell you not to see me? Never mind, I know the answer to that one. Jill, there's a kind of party Friday night."  
  
A man yelled out. "Jill, move it, huh!"  
  
Jill looked at Mike and toward the man, panic stricken. "Mike, I've gotta go."  
  
"Jill, come with me. Please? Look, I'll pick you up here seven-thirty Friday night. Okay?"  
  
He could see her resistance starting to collapse. "Okay?"  
  
Jill set her tray down on a table and looked to see where the bartender was. She took a pad out of her pocket and scribbled something on it and handed it to Mike.  
  
"All right. I'll change shifts with someone. Most of the girls around here owe me their first born children, anyway. Here's my address and phone number. It's in Venice Beach. Do you know how to get there?"  
  
"No, but I'll find it."  
  
"It's a dump, but it's cheap. Call me tonight?"  
  
"What time?"  
  
"After 11:30." She put her hand tentatively on Mike's arm. "It was really good to see you, Mike."  
  
Jill watched Mike as he walked over to a table where another cop was sitting. He picked up the sugar container and began pouring sugar into his coffee. Jill picked up her tray and walked into the bar. Billy was furious, as Jill figured he would be.  
  
"Jill, are you on a permanent break or what? I pay you to wait on people, something you normally do very well. If you want to talk, do it on your own time."  
  
"Billy, I need Friday night off."  
  
"When Hell freezes over! I've got 4 leagues Friday night, not counting the teenagers who flock in here!"  
  
"You think I don't know that? That cop you just saw me talking to is my husband!"  
  
"You're kidding. I thought your husband was in Vietnam."  
  
"Well, unless I was just talking to his identical twin, apparently he's no longer in Vietnam now, is he?"  
  
"Jill, I'm sorry. See if Tina or somebody will pull a switch. It'll mean working on one of your days off."  
  
"Oh, don't worry. If he gets his way, next I'll be putting my notice in."  
  
"He's got a problem with waitresses?"  
  
"No, just with me being one."  
  
Willie sat watching Mike for several minutes before he spoke. "I was watching you operate out there. You looked pretty good...for an old timer."  
  
Mike smiled. "It's like riding a bike. You never forget how."  
  
Willie watched Jill as she worked. "Fine looking chick."  
  
Mike smiled at the compliment. He knew Jill would hate being called a "chick."  
  
"You may not believe this, but that is no chick. THAT is my wife."  
  
"Really? Wow!"  
  
When Jill walked into her apartment at 11:15, she called Trap. He sleepily answered his phone.  
  
"Guess who I saw today?"  
  
Trap was now wide awake. "He finally had the nerve to show his face? Brave man. It took him long enough. What did he say?"  
  
"Nothing. I couldn't talk. I had just gotten to work. I'm probably going to have to quit now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You remember the way Mike was in Alabama. He'll insist on 'taking care of me.'"  
  
"Well, I think you need someone taking care of you. I'm just not quite sure if it should be Mike. Are you going to see him?"  
  
"Yeah. He wants me to go to some command performance RSVP thing on Friday night. Some cop thing, I guess. By the way, did you know about that?"  
  
"Did Mike say I did?"  
  
"Never mind. You just answered me. Anyway, he showed up in full uniform, guns, hand cuffs, the works. I thought I was under arrest or something. I couldn't even talk."  
  
"That's a first."  
  
"Very funny."  
  
"Jill, please don't see him."  
  
"Trap, I know you don't like him and at the moment, he's not my dream date, either, but I do love him and I want to be with him. It's all I've ever wanted for the past 19 months. Anyway, I'll call you after I get home Friday night."  
  
"Ten bucks says you won't be home Friday night."  
  
"Great! Now you make me sound easy."  
  
"I'll talk to you Friday night, Jill."  
  
Right after she hung up, the phone rang again. "Trap, I said I would call..."  
  
"It isn't Trap."  
  
"I'm sorry. That was instinct. Trap's the only person who ever calls."  
  
"I take it he knows you saw me."  
  
"Yeah, I told him."  
  
"And, I bet he told you not to see me. Am I right?"  
  
"Mike, I don't want to argue about Trap and what he thinks."  
  
"So, when did you come out here? When I got home, I went to find you and Ray said you had come out here with Trap."  
  
"I've been out here for about a year, I guess. Things got a little crazy after you left. I had to leave. Trap asked me to come out here."  
  
"What happened, Jill? Cleve?"  
  
"No, Cleve left town right before you did. I can't get into this over the phone, Mike."  
  
"Jill, you were never out of my mind for a second. I listen to Van Morrison and The Turtles all the time."  
  
Jill felt tears trying to creep into her voice. "Mike, why didn't you write to me? Just a couple of lines to let me know that you were okay. I was imagining worst case scenarios. Did Trap tell you about the panic attacks?"  
  
"Yeah. Jilly, I'm sorry. I swear, I'll make it up to you. I just have to be with you."  
  
"Be with me? You have a funny way of showing it! And Mike, becoming a cop is not making things up to me!"  
  
"I know, but baby, this is more solid than the Army. At least, I'll never be going on anymore TDY assignments. I'll be home every night."  
  
"Look Mike, it's late and I'm so tired I can't think straight. Can I get a home phone number or do I have to call the police department?"  
  
"Sure, babe. I'm sorry. It's 555-1726. Are you okay? If you want, I can come over there."  
  
"I'm sorry, Mike, but this is one problem sex is not going to fix. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Jill?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I DO love you."  
  
"I know. I love you, Mike. Bye."  
  
Mike didn't know that by talking to him tomorrow, Jill meant two and a half hours later. Mike was dead asleep when the phone rang. He looked at his alarm clock. It was 20 minutes to three. His first thought was it was Ryker telling him to come to work. He picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mike?"  
  
Mike sat up and switched on the lamp. He knew from her voice that Jill had had one of her nightmares.  
  
"Jill, are you okay?"  
  
"I don't know. I woke up...I don't know why. Usually, I call Trap, but I remembered I don't have to do that anymore."  
  
"How often does this happen, Jill?"  
  
"I don't know. Sometimes, a lot. Sometimes not."  
  
God, Mike thought, word soup from his distraught wife at 3 in the morning. He had to get up for work in 2 hours. He tried to think.  
  
"Jilly, hold on for a second, okay? I have to get something. I'll be right back."  
  
Mike got up and walked over to the dresser and went through a stack of cassette tapes until he found what he was looking for. He put the Van Morrison tape into his tape player and turned it on loud, knowing Willie and Terry were going to hate him in the morning.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"I guess, but..."  
  
"Do you want me to come over there?"  
  
"Mike..."  
  
"Jill, why are you fighting me on this?"  
  
"You're making me sorry I called you!"  
  
"Jill, go to sleep! I have to get up in 2 hours to go to work! We will work on your demons when I see you Friday night."  
  
Mike sighed as he heard the phone click in his ear. She had hung up him.  
  
He was shaving in the bathroom the next morning when the phone rang again. He had a feeling it was probably Jill, ready to proceed to round two. He picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's me again."  
  
"Are you better?"  
  
"I guess. I'm sorry about this morning."  
  
"That's okay. Are we still on for Friday night?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. I want to meet your friends. Are they a better group than we knew in Alabama?"  
  
"I like to think so. I'll see you Friday night. I have to go or I'm going to be late. I love you."  
  
"I love you, too. Bye."  
  
Mike walked into Roll Call looking like something the cat had dragged in. Terry and Willie noticed this right away.  
  
"I've seen corpses that looked better than you, Danko. Does the way you look have anything to do with what you were listening to at 3 o'clock this morning?" Terry asked him.  
  
"I forgot what it was like being married to Jill. At 3 o'clock this morning, I was reminded."  
  
Terry looked at Willie, amused. "You were having loud, wild sex at 3 in the morning? We should be so lucky."  
  
Mike looked at Terry. "I DO NOT look this way from having loud, wild sex. My wife is a complicated person. I can't even begin to explain it any better than that. She has nightmares. At 3 this morning, she called me after one of them and we ended up having a fight."  
  
"So, I take it Friday night is off?" Willie asked him.  
  
"No, she's coming with me Friday night. See, she called again at 5:30 to tell me she wasn't going to miss this for the world."  
  
"Let me get this straight. She called you at 3 and again at 5:30? Doesn't the woman sleep?" Terry asked.  
  
"No, she doesn't. That's part of her charm."  
  
Terry whistled under his breath. "I've got a feeling we're in for a long siege."  
  
Mike nodded at him. "Welcome to my world."  
  
Friday night, Mike found the apartment in Venice without too much trouble. Jill was right. It WAS a dump, but with any luck, Mike was hoping to have her back with him after tonight. He felt disconnected when he was away from her.  
  
Jill was still getting ready when the doorbell rang. Mike's punctuality was very hard to get used to. She opened the door and let him in, but she stepped out of his reach when he tried to kiss her. She was still trying very hard to be angry at him and she knew if he kissed her, it would be all over.  
  
"Hi, you look nice. Are you ready?"  
  
"Almost. So, you never told me who this party was for."  
  
"One of the senior officers is retiring. I don't know him. Sgt. Ryker kind of 'ordered' us to attend."  
  
"I see. Kind of like the Army."  
  
"Jill, I didn't come over here to argue."  
  
"I know, but you know that sooner or later we will."  
  
"Look, we don't have to stay long. Then we can go somewhere and start talking some of this stuff out. Okay? I just want you to meet my friends."  
  
"Okay."  
  
They didn't say much on the drive to the academy. When they walked in, they walked over to where Terry and the other guys were standing in a corner talking amongst themselves. Terry was shocked when Mike brought Jill over. He had never before seen a person whose face was all eyes. Jill's seemed to dominate her face. They were larger than Birgitta's, as if that were possible.  
  
"Jill, these are my friends Terry Webster, Willie Gillis and Kevin Lassitur. Guys, this is my wife, Jill. Where are the girls?"  
  
"Ladies room." Kevin told Mike.   
  
"Babe, I'm going to go get us something to drink. What do you want?"  
  
"Rum and coke."  
  
When Mike walked off, the three guys stood there sizing Jill up while she did the same to them. She was beginning to wonder if she had made a mistake by agreeing to come to this party. She thought this was going to be just like the Army all over again. It wouldn't take her long to realize how wrong she was. Terry finally broke the ice.  
  
"So, Mike was telling me you go to school. What are you studying?"  
  
"I'm 7 weeks away from getting my RN. You know, registered nurse."  
  
Terry was impressed. "Really? A lot of cops marry nurses. Did Mike tell you that?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mike told us you don't sleep." Willie blurted out.  
  
Terry shot Willie a look as Jill also glared at him. "Really? What else did Mike tell you about me? Did he tell you EVERYTHING about me?"  
  
"No, I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't even know Mike was married until the other day when I saw him talking to you in the bowling alley. I thought he was just picking you up."  
  
"Are you trying to tell me that you think Mike is the kind of guy who goes around picking up strange women in bowling alleys."  
  
Terry had to do something. This was going very, very badly. "Whoa! Jill, is it?" Jill nodded. "Look, I understand that you're upset, but I think your issues are with Mike, not with any of us."  
  
"I'm sorry. I'm just confused right now. The last time I saw Mike, he was a soldier, not a cop."  
  
The whole group of them left the party at around 10. It wasn't like the older cops were going to miss them, anyway.  
  
Willie asked Terry, "Hey Terry, you think they're going to be uptight about us leaving early?"  
  
"All they wanted was our twenty bucks anyway, right?"  
  
Kevin stopped the ladies. "Hey girls, you stay here. Come on, guys. Let's go get the cars."  
  
Terry said, "Twenty bucks and we still have to get our own cars? What is this?"  
  
The four girls, Jill, Birgitta Whitman, Molly Lassitur and Terry's girlfriend, Gloria Bennett, were standing around shivering in the cold night air.  
  
Gloria said, "Still, I think it's crazy to marry a policeman. The way things are today, you don't know when he's coming back or IF he's coming back."  
  
Molly replied, "Oh, I guess you learn to live with it. It's just part of the life, that's all. I felt like it was Kevin's retirement party instead of Officer Shaw's."  
  
Gloria said, "Can you imagine what his wife had to put up with all these years?"  
  
Birgitta said, "I think she's lucky and I think we are, too."  
  
Gloria said, "Well, I think I'm freezing to death."  
  
Molly said, "Me, too. I'm going to go to the car."  
  
Gloria said, "Me, too. Let's go."  
  
Jill said good night to the two women as they walked off. She wanted to know what Birgitta was talking about when she said they were lucky. To Jill, this was scarier than the Army had been.  
  
"Why do you think we're lucky?"  
  
"Oh, it's not important what I think. Besides, my English..."  
  
"But, it's really important to me. You know a lot more about it than I do."  
  
"Well, it's just that you marry a car salesman or an insurance man, when he leaves for work in the morning, his wife pecks him on the cheek, because she is positive that he will be back for dinner. But someday, he might not be back. A heart attack, a car accident. And, she will spend years remembering that she didn't tell him how much she did love him. Because, when you know you can't count on tomorrow, you make sure not to waste today. I may lose Jared, but he'll know he was loved when he walked out the door."  
  
Jill hugged her. "Your English is just great!" She slipped an arm around her shoulders. "Come on, let's go."  
  
Mike pulled the car up as Jill saw Birgitta drive off.  
  
"So, where to? Your place or mine?"  
  
"What happened to 'our' place?"  
  
"I'm not sure. Is there still an 'ours' or a 'we' or an 'us?'"  
  
"I want there to be. Mike, I want that very much. I just don't understand how your mind works. Why are you doing what you're doing?"  
  
"Jill, you detested the Army. I knew you wouldn't like this much better!"  
  
"Mike, I got used to the Army! You could have given me a chance to get used to this, too! You nearly gave me heart failure the other day when you came up behind me at the bowling alley! I thought all decisions regarding our future were supposed to be mutual! This was sneaky and underhanded and it infuriates me just thinking about it!"  
  
"I was wrong. I admit that. But Jill, I couldn't face the academy and take care of you, too."  
  
"You've NEVER had to take care of me! I've taken care of myself since I was 14 years old!"  
  
"Am I going to have to listen to this speech again? Because, if I am, let me give you the Reader's Digest condensed version of your self reliance. At 14, you leave home with a candidate for the state hospital. By 16, you're drinking heavily and smoking a lot of dope. By 19, you've cut your wrists and gotten locked up on a psychiatric ward for it."  
  
"I asked your friends if they knew ALL about me. They all carefully avoided the question. DO they know about me?"  
  
"No. I'm the only one who knows all of this, unless you've shared it with anyone."  
  
"You know me. I NEVER discuss my past. Why didn't you tell any of your little playmates that you were married?"  
  
"Oh, they weren't all in the dark. I told Terry. Him and Willie are our next door neighbors, by the way."  
  
"The other guy thought you were picking me up at the bowling alley."  
  
Mike smiled at her. "Hey, it worked once, didn't it?"  
  
Jill shook her head. "I still can't figure out why I married you."  
  
"I thought it was because you love me. At least, that's what you're always telling Trap and Jimmy."  
  
"Speaking of Trap, how dare you call him and not me!"  
  
"Jill, I couldn't find you! Jimmy said Trap knew where you were. I knew he would call you. Did he tell you not to see me?"  
  
"He's concerned."  
  
"Bull shit! He's in love with you and always has been."  
  
"I told you a long time ago how it was between Trap and me. If I hadn't married you, I would have married him."  
  
"It wouldn't have lasted. He knows too much about you."  
  
"And you don't know enough."  
  
"Sometimes I think you prefer it that way."  
  
"I have to have some mystery about me."  
  
"All I know is I really don't want to fight about this. I love you and I want you to come home with me."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Just like that? Okay?"  
  
"You're the only living person willing to put up with me. I have no choice but to go home with you."  
  
Meanwhile, Jared Whitman and his wife were about to have major problems of their own. Jared was in a back room when Toby Loomis walked in. Jared was trying to finish up reports so he could go home. He looked up when Mr. Loomis walked in.  
  
"Hi, there. Remember me? Toby Loomis. We met at your graduation. You and I and your charming wife."  
  
"Yeah. How are you, Mr. Loomis?"  
  
"Oh I'm fine. Just fine."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"What a shame you have to work on the night of Officer Shaw' retirement party."  
  
"Oh my wife she went and she's representing both of us."  
  
"Oh, that's nice. Do you mind if I have a cup of coffee?"  
  
"Oh, I'll tell you, Mr. Loomis. They're not very high on civilians being back here. Really. Not even the most fanatical of police buffs."  
  
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. I don't exactly work for the department, but I do work with them. You see, part of my job is to handle all of the paperwork that has to be processed. Departmental matters, the pension plan, health and welfare. Pretty dull, but it does have to be done, so they tell me. Oh, another part of my job is to uh...do you mind if I sit down?"  
  
Jared was getting suspicious, but he decided to play along with Loomis' game, to see where it was leading.  
  
"No, go ahead. Just be my guest."  
  
"Another part of my job is to process the security checks we run on the new civil servants. Criminal records, that sort of thing."  
  
"Look, I don't know if we're playing some kind of game, but if we are, I really don't know the rules."  
  
"It's hardly a game. It's much more serious than that. Your wife entered this country illegally and I am required to report that fact to the immigration authorities and I suppose they're required to deport her."  
  
Jared slammed his gun belt into his locker. "You know, you really don't know what you're talking about. My wife is a registered alien."  
  
"Registered alien, yes. But lawfully registered, no. She lied about her police record. Your wife was arrested in 1969 for possession of illegal drugs."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"It's true, son. Very true. And very sad. You know, truth is often a very sad commodity. But, it need not always be that way. You see, in my work, I find out all sorts of sad and true things about people and they're good people. Good, hardworking civil servants. And I ask myself if I should be the one to put them through the embarrassment and the bother of all those interdepartmental hearings and in your case, of having that sweet little lady deported, for heaven knows how long. Or, maybe I should do the humane thing and be a helper and not a destroyer."  
  
"What's your price? Come on!"  
  
"You have a talk with your wife. Satisfy yourself that what I'm telling you is the truth. Then, you and I, we'll have our little chit chat."  
  
"Stop playing games with me, Loomis! Now, you just tell me what it is you want!"  
  
"Excuse me. I'm sure you and I can come up with some sort of an equitable understanding."  
  
"Sure. Something to put a little money in your purse."  
  
"Loomis looked insulted. "Pocket, son."  
  
"Yeah, well, whatever."  
  
When Jared got home that night, Birgitta was already in bed, asleep. He was going to let his conversation with Loomis go until the next morning, but Birgitta heard him when he came into the bedroom to get undressed. When he didn't kiss her, she knew something was wrong. He told her about his conversation with Loomis. He was hoping she would deny everything. When she confirmed everything Loomis had said as the truth, Jared got very angry. He stormed into the living room with Birgitta right behind him.  
  
"What? What did you think? That a felony bust for drugs was some kind of a joke? Is that what you thought?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well? Well? Come on, come on, come on!"  
  
"Don't interrupt and don't yell. I'll tell you what happened. There were four of us. We were going on a holiday."  
  
"Four girls?"  
  
Birgitta shook her head. "Two boys, two girls."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"We went into the mountains, then down onto the continent. One of the boys bought some drugs there. We didn't know about it. When we crossed back into Sweden, the drugs were found. We were all charged. Found guilty. Given suspended sentences. Then, when I applied to come here, a friend of mine worked in the record bureau. I lied about the arrest. Then, when the state department verified the facts, she arranged for the verification. It is the only lie I have ever told you."  
  
Jared turned and walked across the room. He couldn't stand seeing the look on her face, but he felt betrayed and he felt angry.  
  
"Well, it looks like your friend no longer works in the department of records."  
  
Birgitta walked up and put her small hands on his waist. "Jared, if I hadn't lied, we wouldn't be together. And, doesn't that count for something?"  
  
He turned and faced her. "Yeah. Yeah, it counts for everything in the world, flicka. Everything in the world."  
  
She began to cry as she hugged him tight. "What are we going to do, Jared?"  
  
"Oh, you have your friend in the bureau of records, I guess I have mine, too. It'll work out."  
  
CHAPTER NINE: TRYING TO PUT THE PIECES BACK TOGETHER  
  
Mike drove to the apartment. He led Jill upstairs and let her look around while he made coffee. She seemed more relaxed than she had been earlier. He hoped she would be relaxed enough to want to stay the night. They continued to talk. Mike told her about the academy and his friends, while Jill told him about school. As she had predicted, Mike wanted her to quit her job at the bowling alley.  
  
"Mike, I like my job. I like the people and I make a lot in tips. I've managed to save some money."  
  
"Look, you're going to be working at the hospital after you graduate, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You're going to have to quit, anyway. Why not quit now? We can live off of my salary and my reserve check. And, as long as I remain in the active reserves, we get commissary and base privileges. It bothers me having you working there."  
  
"Do we have to discuss this now?"  
  
"No, but we're going to have to, eventually."  
  
"Mike, I'm not sure I'm ready to be here."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I have to tell you something and I'm not sure how you're going to take it."  
  
"Just try telling me and then we'll both know."  
  
"When I first came back out here, I stayed with Trap until I could save some money to rent an apartment of my own. I had a lot of panic attacks and I would end up in the emergency room. One night, Trap had to take me to the emergency room. When we got back home, I was very upset. One thing led to another and I ended up sleeping with him. Mike, it was just that one time. I moved out right after that, because I was afraid it was going to happen again. Trap tried to justify it by saying you were probably doing the same thing over there! Even if you were..."  
  
"Which I wasn't. I made that perfectly clear to you a long time ago."  
  
"I know. Mike, I am so sorry. Please forgive me. You have to try to understand what I was going through. I was scared. I didn't know where you were. It didn't mean anything! I love you. I've always loved you. It just happened. I can't explain it any better than that."  
  
Mike looked at her. He hadn't given a lot of thought to what he was doing to her by not writing to her. Looking back, he could see how something like her sleeping with Trap could happen. The way he looked at it, he had two choices. Either forgive and move on or let it eat at him for the rest of his life. He decided it was better for both of them to forgive and forget. He opened his arms to her. She was still reluctant to approach him.  
  
"Baby, I'm sorry. I can't even begin to explain what I was thinking. But, I do know that I love you and I missed you so terribly."  
  
"Mike, you're not touching me again unless I'm back in your life permanently."  
  
"Milady, you were never out of my life. I thought about you all the time."  
  
Jill was still fighting her feelings, but her love for him was winning. "I'm still mad at you."  
  
Mike smiled at her and that was all it took. "We'll work on it. I thought we were never supposed to go to bed angry. Can't we call a cease fire, at least for tonight?"  
  
Jill entered the circle of his embrace and immediately lost herself in it. She had been dreaming of this moment for so long. He planted soft, feather like kisses all over her face before capturing her mouth with his own. Mike had missed the taste of her and the smell of her. Jill buried her face in his neck and breathed in the scent of him. She pulled the collar of his shirt down and traced a path along his collar bone. He groaned as he pulled her back up to face him.  
  
"Let's go in the other room."  
  
Jill's eyes were bright. "Okay."  
  
Mike led Jill into the other room. He removed Jill's clothes as he planted kisses down every inch of her body. Jill had almost forgotten what the feel of his lips and his hands could do to her. She felt like she was burning under her touch. He moved up from his exploration of her body to once again kiss her. Jill opened her mouth to let her tongue once again dance with his. It had seemed like forever, but everything she thought she had forgotten came back to her in a flood. He once again moved down to kiss her on the side of her neck. Jill moaned as he gently kissed his way down between her breasts before flicking one of her nipples gently with his tongue. Jill arched her back and pushed his head down closer.  
  
"Aren't you going to let me help you with your clothes?"  
  
Mike smiled as he looked at her. "Eventually."  
  
"Oh no, not again. Come on, Mike. I'm not playing this game with you. Not tonight."  
  
Mike finally relented and let her help him with his clothes. Now it was her turn to torture him. He lay back on the bed and sighed as Jill began to do her own exploring. She spotted some new scars she hadn't seen before and bent down to kiss them. She reached down to gently caress him through his boxers. Mike gulped as she touched him. He thought he was going to lose his mind. He pulled her back to him and began kissing and touching her again.  
  
Jill reached over and yanked on his boxers. Mike raised up as she did and the shorts finally fell to a heap on the floor. She again began touching and stroking him until he finally had to pull her away. He covered her body with his own.  
  
"I love you, Jill."  
  
Jill pulled his head down to her. "Then, show me. I need you, Mike. I've needed you so badly for such a long time."  
  
Jill lay in Mike's arms afterward waiting for her breathing to slow down. He stroked the top of her head as she stroked her fingers down his chest. She was sleepy, but she knew this was where she belonged, where she had always belonged.  
  
She woke up early the next morning to the persistent ringing of the doorbell. For a few minutes, she had forgotten where she was. Then she sat up and looked over at Mike sleeping peacefully beside her and she smiled. She gently shook him awake. He reached over for her.  
  
"Mike, there's somebody at the door. It has to be for you. Nobody knows I'm here."  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Almost 8 o'clock."  
  
"It's Willie and Terry." He again reached for her. "They'll wait or they can come back."  
  
"Willie and Terry are here at this hour of the morning?"  
  
"Sure. We hang out together. If they aren't here, then I'm over there. You'll like them."  
  
"Can't you send them away? I thought we still had things to talk over."  
  
Mike got up and pulled a pair of jeans off of a chair. "No, I can't send them away. That would be rude. Go get dressed and I'll put some coffee on."  
  
"Mike, the only clothes I have are what I wore last night."  
  
He threw her his bathrobe. "Put this on. After breakfast, we'll rent a truck and go move your things."  
  
"Whoa! Mike, I have to give notice."  
  
"Jill, can we please put this on hold long enough for me to answer the door?"  
  
Jill got up after Mike left the room. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and put Mike's robe on. She got up and picked up her scattered clothes. Last night with Mike had been wonderful, but she wasn't sure she was ready to be with Mike all the time. Being the wife of a soldier bound for Vietnam had been scary enough, being the wife of a cop was even scarier.  
  
The doorbell was still ringing when Mike walked into the other room. He unlocked the door and let Willie and Terry in. Terry looked around as they walked in.  
  
"What's going on? What time did you get home last night?"  
  
"Around 11, I guess."  
  
Jill walked into the room. "Good morning."  
  
Willie looked at Terry and held out his hand. "Hey, Terry. He brought that woman back here with him last night. You owe me ten bucks."  
  
"Of course I brought Jill back here with me. She's my wife."  
  
Jill was NOT amused. "Wait! Let me get this straight! You two made a bet on whether or not I would come back here with Mike last night?"  
  
"No, ma'am. Not on whether you would come back here. We made a bet on whether or not you would stay the night." Willie seemed pleased as he told Jill this.  
  
"That is so sexist!"  
  
"That's our nature. We're men." Terry told her.  
  
Mike decided to interrupt before full scale war broke out. "You guys want coffee?"  
  
"Coffee is good. So, what's on the agenda for today?" Terry asked them.  
  
"I have to go rent a truck."  
  
"Mike, we need to discuss this first."  
  
"Why are we renting a truck?" Willie asked.  
  
"WE aren't renting a truck. Mike, we need to talk. NOW!"  
  
"Can you guys excuse us for a little while? We'll call you."  
  
"Sure, but if you guys need us to help you move something..." Willie started to say.  
  
Jill walked over and pointedly opened the door. "He will call you." She closed the door after they walked out. "Mike, I told you I have to give notice or they're going to charge me another month's rent on the apartment."  
  
"This isn't a problem. It's only a problem because you're making it a problem. I can take care of the rent. I want you back here with me."  
  
"Mike, I want to be back here, too. But, I want to take care of this on my own. Things are moving too fast. I can't think."  
  
"What too fast? We're married! It's not like we barely know each other."  
  
"Mike, we're just getting re-acquainted after almost 2 years apart. Let me keep the apartment, at least for the next month. That way, I can give notice and we can get used to each other again."  
  
"Babe, I don't know..."  
  
"Mike, please? I can go home today and give notice. It'll give me a chance to pack my things and make things right with Trap."  
  
She winced as she said this last part because she knew what Mike's reaction was going to be.  
  
"I knew he had to be behind this somehow!"  
  
"Mike, he's not behind anything! He doesn't like you! I have to justify what I'm doing!"  
  
"You shouldn't have to justify anything to him! We're married! That's all the justification that you need!"  
  
"Would you please stop saying we're married! I know we're married. I was at the ceremony, too."  
  
"Babe, I'm sorry. I love you. I wanted us to spend the day together."  
  
"Us, as in you and me? Or us, as in you and me and Willie and Terry?"  
  
"Just us, I promise. I know you don't like being around a lot of people, but you're going to like Willie and Terry. They're great guys."  
  
"Can you take me back to my apartment, so I can shower and change clothes?"  
  
"Let me shower and change first, then I'm all yours."  
  
Jill drove over to Trap's apartment later that afternoon. She was meeting Mike and the other two guys for dinner later. Trap was sitting in his open doorway drinking a beer when Jill walked up.  
  
"I tried calling you last night, but you weren't home. Should I venture a guest as to who you were with and what you were doing?"  
  
"You know who I was with and it really isn't any of your business what I was doing."  
  
"Where is he now?"  
  
"My husband's name is Mike and you don't need to worry about where he is right now."  
  
"Is this the same guy you were thinking of divorcing a few months ago? I think the grounds were desertion. Am I right? His excuse must have been good, Jill, because you bought it hook, line and sinker. Did you tell him about all the late night trips to the emergency room when you couldn't breathe?"  
  
"Trap, you don't understand..."  
  
"I'm reasonably intelligent, Jill. Why don't you try explaining it to me."  
  
"I love him, Trap. All I've ever wanted was for Mike to come back and take care of me. Like he did in Anniston."  
  
"Jill, I've taken good care of you, haven't I?"  
  
"Yes, but Trap, I didn't marry you. I married Mike and he's the only man I want to be with. I gave a month's notice on the apartment and then I'm going to move back in with Mike."  
  
"What if he hurts you again?"  
  
"That's a chance I'm going to have to take."  
  
"I may not be here to pick up the pieces the next time."  
  
"That's okay. I don't expect you to be."  
  
"Will you at least call me once in a while?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
CHAPTER 10: JARED GETS BACKED AGAINST A WALL  
  
A couple of days later, Ryker walked into Neil Montgomery's office. Neil was on the phone.  
  
"...Yes, ma'am. No, he was testifying on the new tax bill before the state legislature. Yes, ma'am."  
  
Ryker motioned as Neil's phone buzzed again. "Hold your calls."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, hold your calls. This is important."  
  
Neil called his secretary. "Lynn, hold my calls, will you? I'll get back to them later. Okay, Eddie. I'm listening."  
  
"There's a cocktail lounge in my precinct. It's called The Open House. Every once in a while over the past few years, they've tried showing stag films and I don't mean movies about Bambi's father. We've hit them a couple of times and they've always managed to wriggle out of it in court. Now we hear that they've imported a few friendly, lively ladies to complete the picture..."  
  
"Look, what does this have to do with..."  
  
"We've raided them twice and each time they've come up as clean as a convent. If we raid them again and come up empty, they're going to yell harassment."  
  
"Look Eddie, I know you have your problems..."  
  
"I'm pretty sure...pretty sure, hell, I'm positive one of the guys in our precinct is tipping them off when we're going to make a raid."  
  
"What does this have to do with the mayor?"  
  
"Neil, you think I'd bother the mayor with police work if it weren't really important? Obviously, someone's on the take. And, word on the street has it that the guy on the take is one of the new guys. One of OUR new guys."  
  
Jared was partnered with Kevin. Loomis had asked him to let the guys at The Open House know when a raid was scheduled. In return, Loomis agreed to keep his mouth shut about Birgitta.  
  
"Kevin, come on! I think we'd better swing by The Open House like Ryker said and keep an eye on things!"  
  
"What's the hurry, super-cop?"  
  
"I just want to do what he says, you know?"  
  
"Ludlow 7-0 from control, disturbance in bar at 1711 South Clark."  
  
"Roger. We're on our way. Well, I guess The Open House will just have to wait."  
  
When they got to the bar, there was a fight in full swing. They ran in and separated the 3 men who were fighting. Jared grabbed the man who started it and walked him outside while Kevin and another unit got the other two. Jared was trying to get his man against the squad. The man was fighting him.  
  
"That's my cane!"  
  
"Stand still!"  
  
"You go into a bar and want to forget how bad you feel. I just wanted a little attention, that's all. I was just talking to her."  
  
"Well, she has a different version of events."  
  
"I just wanted to be close to somebody!"  
  
"Well, close only counts in horseshoes."  
  
Kevin walked back out. "You got him squared away?"  
  
"Yeah. Why don't we let the other unit run him back to the station."  
  
"Why not us?"  
  
"I thought we'd run by The Open House and make sure things are cool over there. We can make this report up in half an hour or so."  
  
"Okay. I'll see how many they are pulling in. They probably have room."  
  
Jared grabbed the man by the collar. "Let's go."  
  
"Don't push. I get sick and tired of people pushing me all the time."  
  
"I think you were doing a little pushing on your own."  
  
"So, is there a crime against being friendly?"  
  
"I don't know. I haven't checked the newspaper today. Come on, get in. Watch your head."  
  
Kevin came running back up. "Hey Jared! It's okay! Come on!" He looked at Jared as they got back in their car. "Hey, you're a little wired up tonight, aren't you?"  
  
"It's because I love this damn job so much! Come on, roll, will you?"  
  
Jared went inside The Open House while Kevin waited in the car. He told the bartender that it was safe to bring the girls out. In return, the bartender gave Jared money. Neil Montgomery walked in right after Jared did. He was determined to find out what was going on. When Jared got back in the car, Kevin gave him some really bad news.  
  
"Well, that didn't take very long."  
  
"It's not a very big place. Come on, let's get back to the station."  
  
"You won't be in such a hurry once you hear what I just heard."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"The bust on the guy with the cane back in the beer bar. It won't stick."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You forgot to inform the guy of his rights. They had to let him back on the street as soon as they got back to the station."  
  
"Ludlow 7-0, checked Open House. All clear."  
  
"Ludlow 7-0, repeat your message."  
  
"Checked Open House. All clear. Ludlow 7-0, out."  
  
The guys were in the locker rooom getting dressed to go home when Ryker came storming into the room. He was furious.  
  
"Whitman! Out here! What is your official designation?"  
  
"Police officer."  
  
"Police officer? You're not fit to be a crossing guard in a pet cemetery!"  
  
"Now, look, give me the benefit of the doubt on this..."  
  
"How many times do you estimate you've been told about arrest procedures?"  
  
"A thousand times. A million, maybe."  
  
"How many times do you estimate it's going to take before you learn those procedures?"  
  
"Look sergeant, I made a mistake. Haven't you ever made a mistake?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. I made a mistake. I made lots of mistakes. But, when I did, I was man enough to have the guts to shut up and take my lumps for them without copping out! Any other comments, Officer Whitman?"  
  
"No, sir."  
  
Ryker turned and walked back out. Kevin looked over at Jared.  
  
"Hey Jared, don't let him get to you, man. He'll cool off."  
  
"Yeah man, if it was one of the older cops, he wouldn't sweat it like that." Terry told him.  
  
"Well, it wasn't one of the older cops, it was me and if he doesn't get off my back, I'll deck him!"  
  
Willie looked at the other guys. "Oh, yeah! Good move! That'll really get him on your side! No question about it."  
  
Mike walked around the other side of the locker and motioned for Kevin, Willie and Terry to join him on his side. They all walked over.  
  
"Oh, boy." Mike lowered his voice. "You know, when I was in the service working on the missile silos, they told us to keep an eye on each other. To watch for certain things. Signs that the pressures were starting to get to somebody." He motioned his head toward the other side of the lockers. "He's got that look."  
  
After being released from custody, the man with the cane went back to the bar and shot the place up. He killed 3 people. The cops went on full alert. They cornered the man in a football stadium and in a shoot out, he shot Jared and the police shot and killed him.  
  
Jill was working the mid shift. As a student nurse, she was learning all she could, but some nights, she felt she was never going to know enough. There was always something new. Now, as her shift was ending, she heard some news that made her heart stop. There had been a shooting in the early morning hours involving the police and a sniper. A police officer had been killed. When Jill got off duty, she raced home. She breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Mike's car in the parking lot. She also saw Terry's little sports car, so she knew Willie and Terry were okay. She ran upstairs. When she came into the apartment, Mike was sitting on the sofa with a bottle of scotch sitting on the coffee table in front of him. Jill knew it was bad. Mike never drank Scotch except when he was upset. Jill put her purse and sweater on a chair and stood there waiting for him to say something. Anything to acknowledge that he knew she was there. At last, she spoke up.  
  
"Mike, are you okay?"  
  
"Jared Whitman was shot and killed this morning."  
  
Jill's heart began to pound. She had never met Jared, but she remembered Birgitta, who had told her the night of Shaw's retirement party how lucky they were to be married to cops. Jill had thought her explanation wonderful at the time. Now, she was having second thoughts. It seemed different now that someone had actually been killed in the line of duty.  
  
"Oh God, Mike! What happened?"  
  
"We got a call about a gunman at Primrose Stadium. The guy was in the scoreboard shooting at us. Jared fired tear gas into the scoreboard to try to subdue the guy and then for some reason, Jared went in after him. I guess the guy felt he was cornered and he shot Jared and killed him."  
  
"Did you arrest the guy?"  
  
"Kevin shot and killed him right after he shot Jared."  
  
"I'm sure he thought he was going to die a hero's death. How touching. I'm sure they can carve that on his tombstone. You know, it could have been you."  
  
Mike looked at her. "You have been waiting for just this moment, haven't you?"  
  
"No, Mike. I never wanted THIS moment to happen. I could have lived happily ever after without THIS moment for the rest of my life! Or at least as happily as I've ever been, which isn't saying a whole hell of a lot now, is it, Mike?"  
  
"Jill, would you stop! I survived 3 tours of duty in Vietnam..."  
  
"This ISN'T Vietnam! You knew what you were up against in Vietnam! You knew who the enemy was! You don't know what's out there! I've worked in the ER! I know what's out there! I cannot deal with this again!"  
  
Terry and Willie were used to just walking into Mike and Jill's apartment. They had been doing it before Jill came into the picture and they continued doing it now, not having any idea how much Jill hated them just walking in. They opened the door onto what was by now a full scale battle scene.  
  
"You've dealt with worse! What about the Johnny Walker and the peyote and the grass and slashing your wrists and the psych ward! If it weren't for me, you'd probably be dead now!"  
  
"No, if it weren't for you and Trap, I'd probably be dead now! I'm constantly forgetting to thank the two of you! Sometimes, I wish I were dead! Don't you go thinking you guys did me any great favors, Mike! Birgitta may have to bury her husband, but I'll kill myself first before I have to bury you!"  
  
She looked over at Terry and Willie who were watching their fight as if it were a tennis match.  
  
"Don't you two ever knock before you come into someone's home?"  
  
Jill turned and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Willie and Terry looked at Mike, who took another sip of his drink, not seeming surprised by Jill's outburst.  
  
"Is she just a little crazy?" Willie asked Mike.  
  
"A little."  
  
Terry asked him, "What was all that about the psych ward, Mike?"  
  
"Look, there are a few things about Jill that you guys don't know and right now, you don't need to know them. Okay? I'd better go down there and talk to her before she throws herself under a bus or something."  
  
Terry held out his hand. "No, man. Let me go."  
  
"Are you sure you can deal with her? After all, Willie is the one Jill thinks is outrageously funny."  
  
"It's cool. I'll go."  
  
Jill got along great with Willie. He was the only person who could make her really laugh. Mike had been married to her for over 2 years and could rarely make her laugh. Jill liked Terry, but she was always complaining to Mike that Terry was always psycho-analyzing her. He always wanted to know what she was thinking.  
  
Jill was sitting at the bottom of the stairs hugging her knees to her chin when Terry came down and sat beside her.  
  
"What do you want, Terry? I figured Mike would have high tailed it down here by now."  
  
"He started to, but I told him I would come. Sometimes it helps to talk to a stranger."  
  
"We aren't strangers, Terry. You and Willie eat us out of house and home, you see more of Mike than I do, you taught me how to bluff at poker. Again what do you want?"  
  
"So, we're not strangers, but we know next to nothing about each other, so that kind of makes us strangers, doesn't it?"  
  
Jill sighed. "I guess. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode. And to think I gave up drugs for a life that included Mike."  
  
"Then the stuff Mike was talking about upstairs..."  
  
Jill held her arms out. Terry could see the thin white lines on the insides of both wrists.  
  
"I used to try to hide them, then I figured what the hell? If people see them, they're going to know what they are, anyway, so why hide them?"  
  
"My God, Jill. Were you married to Mike when you did this?"  
  
Jill smiled. "You think Mike could drive me to something like this? At times, he probably could, but no, I wasn't married to Mike at the time. I was with someone else. I love Mike so much, Terry. And it scares me. I'm afraid one day it's going to be me getting the visit from Sgt. Ryker. That was who told Birgitta about Jared, wasn't it?"  
  
"I don't know, Jill. I guess. Can I tell you something about Mike? He is very good at what he does. I guess because he's older than the rest of us. He has a tendency to be more level headed and he tries to keep us that way, too. Something was going on with Jared. None of us knew what it was, but Mike warned us that Jared was on the edge. He told us to watch out for him."  
  
"You're saying that you think Jared went after that guy in the scoreboard on purpose?"  
  
"We don't know, but it looked that way. Anyway, forget Jared for right now, okay? Because Mike drives a one-man unit, he often has the responsibility of driving Ryker around the precinct. Of course, we have to rag him about this, but if Ryker trusts Mike enough to place his life in his hands, then that has to tell you something about Mike."  
  
"When Mike was in the Army, after we got married, I didn't fit in. I had no education, nothing in common with those other Army wives. I don't want to go through that again."  
  
"Jill, you fit in fine. You can fit in anywhere if you have half a mind to."  
  
"Mike thinks he saved me from myself and I guess maybe he did, but I wish he wouldn't be so damn self-righteous about it."  
  
Mike was walking down the stairs and heard Jill's last comment. "Who's being self-righteous?"  
  
Terry stood up. "I think that's my cue to leave."  
  
Mike sat down on the step above Jill. "Would you rather I had stayed in the Army, Jill?"  
  
"No, Mike. I love you. When you walk in a room, I lose myself in your smile and in your eyes. I just don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with your about this. I just get so scared, sometimes."  
  
"I know, baby. But, you have to learn to trust me. This is what I've always wanted to be, since I was 8 years old."  
  
Jill sat there for a couple of minutes before she moved up to the step Mike was sitting on. He put his arms around her and held her as tight as he could. Jill didn't think it was possible to get any closer to him. After a few minutes, she pulled away and looked at him with eyes bright with tears.  
  
"Are you drunk?"  
  
Mike looked at her with a puzzled expression. "No, I'm not drunk. Why?"  
  
"Did we get rid of our houseguests?"  
  
Mike smiled. "Yeah, I got rid of our houseguests."  
  
"Then, I want you to take me upstairs right now and make love to me."  
  
"I think I can oblige you."  
  
It was a cold day the day they buried Jared Whitman. So began another tradition Jill could easily have lived without. The police funeral. They were almost like all the Army funerals she had attended with Mike in Anniston. Jill felt so sorry for Birgitta who was trying so hard to be brave and barely succeeding. Mike, Terry, Willie, Kevin, Neil Montgomery and Ryker acted as Jared's pallbearers. At the end of the funeral, Jill stood with Molly, Gloria, Birgitta and Jared's parents while the men loaded Jared's casket into the hearse. They all jumped at the sound of the 21-gun salute being fired. After the casket was put into the hearse, Mike, Kevin, Willie and Terry stood in front of the women while Neil joined Ryker behind the hearse. Birgitta walked over to the 3 women and they all hugged her tightly before she rejoined Jared's parents. There had been a lot of talk in the last several days about what had driven Jared to do what he had done. Jill wondered what was going to happen to Birgitta now. Mike had told her that Loomis had been forced to resign under threat of being fired. Jill was glad, because she was scared of what he would dig up on someone else.  
  
Ryker and Neil were talking as the hearse drove away from the academy, where the services had been held.  
  
"Neil, I don't know if I told you yet, but I think your guys might be all right."  
  
"They're not mine, anymore. They're yours, now."  
  
"I'll take 'em."  
  
"Even when they fail?"  
  
"Oh, Neil, Neil. You expected much too much of them and I expected much too little. That Loomis caught that kid in a bind and the kid buckled. That's a shame, but there's no warranty on human beings, Neil. There never has been. I'll tell you one thing, though. Jared Whitman died in an act of courage and he died with honor. That's not a bad epitaph for a cop. Hell, that's not a bad epitaph for anybody."  
  
THE END  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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